The chicken or the egg.

 

By Izzy (Last Name Redacted)


Hey, hi! Newest member of Vibe Union jumping on here to do my first blog post. 

So much to say and so little time…

I mentioned in one of the podcast episodes (go check them out if you haven’t already) that I had over a decade-long hiatus from writing.  Episode Here

I was quite a gifted writer as a child but then somewhere along the timeline, maybe in my teens, I had convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough. 

Maybe it was my mental health, maybe it was society (or my perception of society), maybe it was the company I kept.

Or maybe I just felt uninspired. 

I begrudgingly wrote again for the first few times when people close to me passed away and I was half expected to and half volunteered, to write tributes and eulogies. 

And they were good. Yes, good. I knew I did well and the feedback was amazing. 

I’ve known enough death to find the good in such shite and dark situations. But I didn’t think much else about writing except for when I felt it was my duty, i.e death. (In retrospect, maybe I should’ve become a celebrant).

Fast forward to the year 2022. A friend (that’s a strong word nowadays, isn’t it?) dragged me along to a ‘slam poetry’ night in Prahran. I was new to the area and had come from a fairly uncultured part of Melbourne. And whilst the idea of a poetry night sounded left-of-field to me, I went along. 

Within a month, I was performing. 

I have high levels of anxiety and I don’t much care for public speaking but I pushed myself to do it anyway. 

And look where I am now!

I’m in a book (good book buy book, link in website), I’m part of an amazing collective, I get to meet awesome people and I’m writing more often than I ever have before. I also hope to release my own book next year. Maybe even an EP!

I did say in aforementioned podcast that the writing process for me isn’t easy. I am my own worst critic, but who isn’t? 

But this is what it boils down to. This is the point I wanted to make…

What is the difference between mental health fuelling creative processes vs creative processes fuelling mental health? 

I am a huge advocate of mental health. I’ve suffered from a multitude of issues for many, many years and also worked in the field for nearly a decade. 

I’ll ask again in a slightly different way.. 

Are mental health issues/trauma and being creative (in any field) mutually exclusive? 

I personally find that my mental health and previous trauma fuel my creative processes, wether it’s poetry, rap, crochet, collage, etc. 

If I could stop adopting cats for one minute, I may be able to pump out more work or visit other creative avenues *smacks forehead*.

Example of trauma fuelled work - my mother (RIP) was an artist. She was skilled in multi-medium and her works were insanely impressive. She, herself, was mentally unwell too. She stopped her craft because of her mental illness and unvisited intergenerational trauma. But because she was so deft and talented, I never bothered with visual art because I knew I could never reach her level. 

My mother also wrote, and it was good, but perhaps not at my echelon. 

So whilst my mental health issues and prior traumas may assist me in my creative endeavours, it also sometimes hinders me; rendering me unable to produce any creative works. 

I’ve found myself a few times (more than a few) as a voluntary inpatient in psychiatric hospitals. Sometimes, the isolation and lack of stimuli results in amazing work. 

Other times, not so much or not at all. 

I’m a thinker. A dreamer. A curious soul. 

So again, for the final time I’ll ask, do you need to have mental health issues/trauma to be a successful creative? 

It’s about time I take my meds now and sign off. Izzy out ✌️


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Graphics by Rhath